When does fear become courage?

Have you ever had a shitty week? How about a whole shitty month? Obviously, it's nothing you can avoid if you're human. But, the important question to ask yourself is how do you plan to move forward? How do you continue when things in your life start to change so drastically?

I've always heard, "It's how you react to change that determines what kind of person you are." It's true, change is the only thing in life you can pretty much count on - besides death & taxes. It's never easy, but almost always necessary. You can choose to have negative feelings towards it and you'll almost surely die with your misery and heartache, or, you can choose to let it affect you and run with it. Eventually, you learn to live with it.

But how many of us can say that we've been given a clean slate?

I feel like I've had a clean slate before, when I was 15 and moved to Utah from Texas, or when I was 19 and made the decision to keep my distance from the city I once called home. Whether it's healthy to adopt that kind of attitude, I'm not too sure, but it works for me. The only difference is this time, I have a clean slate with no plan.

I will say, I'm lucky that I have such a dope family that catches me before I fall flat on my ass. I was unexpectedly given a clean slate, but I was lost in the chaos before I actually saw it as that.

I was 17 when I graduated high school, turned 18 in August of that year and moved out of my parents house, into my dorm, a week and a half later. Fast-forward 5 years later, brokenhearted after a bunch of tumultuous relationships and unfortunate circumstances, continually told the person I am, was not an appropriate personality for me to have; I had two semesters left of college and had just been hired full-time at a local talent agency. Adulthood was coming at me in full swing, my love of art was completely unfolding, and my burning desire to constantly create was and is stronger than ever. I decided school wasn't helping me get to where I wanted to be. So, I followed my heart.

I did my best and worked my ass off, but something was always missing. This past year, my depression had reached an overwhelming point - though, of course, you don't see it when you're living it. I honestly don't know what caused the initial spiral (there's a long list), I just know I fell deep and I fell fast.

I'm a worrier. The stay-up-all-night, make-yourself-physically-sick type of worrier. I've had anxiety since I can remember, which inevitably shuts my body down every few months and I suffer from physical illness. I wish I could explain it well enough but I remember one day when I was 3 or 4 years old, and for the first time I started to wonder about my future. Except it wasn't pleasant daydreams - it was panic. A fear of what was to come settled in my brain that day and has never left.

My question for you is: what would you do, RIGHT NOW, if you had a clean slate? Would you see the world? Would you pick up and leave or would find something new in the city you're in?

I'll let you know when I figure it out.

In the meantime, I hope 2016 brings you lots of love, happiness and satisfaction. Oh, and btw - you can have your clean slate whenever you decide to start living again.

PYS,
alliehustle

Btw - I have an interview for my dream job today. I've started creating, designing and producing my v own art projects and I couldn't be more content! You can see/buy them at www.alliehustle.com ! Send me good vibes!!! (:

Had 2 Make A Couple Bands By My Lonely ♡

This has to be one of my favorite outfits I've put together! 

I've always been inspired by 90s grunge fashion, which I try to incorporate into most of my wardrobe. Growing up during the Kurt Cobain days and looking up to Kate Moss on the runway have definitely influenced my style. 

Choker - Harajuku Alien

Mesh Dress - High Finds

Shorts - The Cobra Shop

Socks - Nikki Lipstick

Shoes - ShopJeen

Make the rest of ur week Gangster AF!!! 

Much love & pys,

Allie ♡

But Officer.. They were fuckin w/ my squad.. & I'm professional.

Halter: O-Mighty 

Happy Sunday, my loves!

Yesterday was so amazing! Spring is finally in full swing & warm weather is swarming the Salt Lake Valley. 

I went on an adventure with my boyfriend thru the Bonneville Shoreline trails in the mountains yesterday. Being able to disconnect with the city & enjoy nature is what keeps me sane on the weekends. 

Having a full time job is exhausting and can be really demanding throughout the week. We all have to stop and remember to breathe deep sometimes. I've been having such a hard time with the transition from student -> professional lately. 

I finished college (after 5.5 years) about 6 months ago. There were periods of time where I was back and forth between wanting to work part-time and wanting to be a student full-time. Now, I'm a full-time talent booker/agent/VO director at the most reputable and longest running talent agency in Salt Lake City. ~ McCarty Talent Agency. ~

I love my job & love how much information I'm learning that I can carry with me for the future. I've always wanted to work in the entertainment industry, & I'm finally doing it!! Which is why I studied acting & film at the University of Utah & have been performing as a rap artist - Allie Hustle (<<link 2 my SoundCloud). 

BUT there is one thing that is really trying and hard for me. Being an artist but not feeling like it because I've been putting myself 2nd. I don't act at all anymore, as well as rapping - I haven't been writing new material or recording because I don't have the drive after I get home from work. I just want to melt in my couch. 

I know, I know. Get motivated, don't be lazy, don't let your life get lived away... Anyway, I don't want you to read this and think I'm complaining and being miz.

 I LOVE my job. I LOVE my coworkers (aka - family!!). I LOVE the people, opportunities and projects I get to work with every day.

But... your early 20s are a really hard time in life! If you've already been through it, I know you remember. & If you haven't yet... let me just break it down for you. ~~~ You constantly face questions like, "am I making the right decisions?" or "will this decision get me to where I want to be in the future?"

It's really fucking scary & really fucking hard on your little body! 

I wanted to write this in hopes of connecting with others who feel like me. I was so out of my element that I actually ended up in the ER a few weeks ago. I suffer with migraines v often & have ever since I was a baby but this time it was different. My body physically didn't feel like it could manage to heal itself, so I got help. 

That's what I hope I can get across. Take care of yourself, u guys! We all go thru the same things (somewhat!). We need to connect and help each other thru it. So that's why I'm here, writing this to you! If you feel sad or not motivated, talk to me! I go thru those feelings constantly & daily. Don't ever feel like you're alone, because you aren't. 

♡ 

(P)huck (Y)o (S)tandards,

allie

Thug Hoodies

Fave Sweatshirt currently - ft. Snoop Dogg & Tupac

Snag other dope clothes like this one! -------> OMIGHTY 

Happy Tuesday errbody!!!

I wish I had some cool shit to discuss or share an opinion on in this post, but there really hasn't been anything in the news lately that has me feeling hella passionate. 

I feel change in the air & I know some of my closest friends are dealing with weird changes in their lives too. Is everyone feeling this? I don't know what it is but I just feel a huge change about to happen in my life! It's true, the only thing constant in life is change. You have to count on it and you have to expect the unexpected. I guess that's where I am right now. I constantly have to remind myself that change is inevitable. It's how you react to things that happen to you that make you who you are!!! So, I hope you all are feeling good and feeling love! 

I promise I'll find some cool stuff to share in my next posts. For those of you reading this, thank you 4 being supportive! It means the world to have people connect with me thru my blog and my passions. If you have questions or want to talk about ANYTHING ~ feel free to comment or email me! I love connecting with internet friends all over the world! ♡

pys,

allie

Shade

My new sunglasses are literally my everything!!! ♡

U can shop them & so many other amazingly cute things @ The Cobra Shop ~ !

~~~~ awwwwwwww skeet skeet ~~~~

pys,

allie

Pastelization

♡ shirt: Pastelization Tee by T.E.I.N. Clothing - from ShopJeen  ♡

The one Spring fashion trend I think everyone should get on? : Pastels!!!

For the past two years, I have been buying every single article of clothing off the internet. The sudden explosion of small businesses gaining followers from social media has inspired me completely. I love seeing people start trends or start businesses that utilize their passions. Through Instagram, I've seen and met amazing people who are so passionate about art and expression. The community of artists sharing their experiences and supporting others is just so incredibly amazing to me. I love the support I get from you all & I hope I share my support in the same ways I feel it!

(P)huck (Y)o (S)tandards,

♡allie 

Importance of Passion in Life

I'm in the process of getting rid of my >old< blog, so I'll be posting some of my favorite posts from it on this new one. Thx 4 sharing these experiences with me! It helps me keep going every day. ☺ 
I hope you find something in here you can relate to. ♡ 

Passion is one of the most important elements of life, to me. As I get older, I’m realizing that my passion for art, acting, music, writing, dance, fashion, photography, drawing – you name it, it’s what drives me to wake up and be a better person. I truly believe that art is one of the most beautiful and positive things that humans have created, and by using it right – we can change the world.

Becoming an adult sucks. I mean, it’s alright, but seriously hard AF. Having a full time job can take a lot out of you too, which has been the story of my life recently.$Money$ is, unfortunately, so important in today’s society if you want to live comfortably. It’s just as important to remember to find a job that you love doing.(because it is possible to love what you do & make a living doing it!!!!!)However, when your expensive taste has you feeling more stressed about not being able to buy clothes off the runway than paying rent, there is a situation.(>_<)

Anyway, ^ that’s ^ another post right there – back to passion. You have to find it in yourself, even if there is nothing in sight, you have to keep searching. It’s in you & it’s in all of us. Don’t be so quick to judge yourself with your art. Let it happen and the people who respect you as a human will show their support, no matter what! There will be others, though, ones who will never be your fans or supporters. That’s just fact. Once you know that and accept it, it will be much easier to appreciate the support of others who support you(!!!)

I haven’t written anything in a long time because I’ve had no inspiration. That changed last night. I can’t pinpoint the exact moment – but as I watched The Rap Sheet documentary on Netflix & heard The Game talking mad shit on 50 Cent for being a snitch, I had something – passion & inspiration.

So, I wanted to share it with you.

To anyone who has been fooled by a trusted source for some length of time.
To anyone getting back on your feet after someone knocked you down.
To anyone who believes in the right thing. To anyone who believes in art.
To anyone who believes in human connections and irl peace.
But especially, to you, because you’re a fuckboy.

Poem to the Poser:

Poem to the Poser, won’t make it hard to tell.
Keep flowing mistruths, I know those lies well.
Forever strong, was the front you kept. So I keep my distance with depleted respect.
Respect never earned and all fake accomplishments yet –
all I’m seeing is bullshit and I ain’t even a vet.
Put jokes aside, ur swag makes me cry, I’ll remember every lie, I’m glad ur out of my life.
I’m staying high all the time, so this is goodbye.
Posers can’t win and I’ll never die.

pys,
allie

My 1st Thoughts

Everything I ever thought it meant to be an "adult" was a lie...but it's gonna take a while to get thru all of that.

Let's start with this: I'm 23 years old, I've traveled the world, I've spent 5 years in college (all while making a hell of a lot of mistakes in that time), and I've been sitting at my desk, in my office, for almost 2 years now! While there are MANY lessons I've learned in those years as a professional, there is one thing I don't think any of us hustlin' ever really stop thinking about one thing - and that is making this not only my job, but the start of my long & successful career. ☺

Baby Allie, past Allie and this Allie writing right now, has always wanted one thing - to make a career out of entertaining people. Biggest mistake? Probably convincing my 7 year old self that I would be a millionaire by 24. Don't get me wrong, I still wake up and remind myself to keep pushing because of that fact, but my mistake was setting an unrealistic deadline.


I thought when I moved into a professional atmosphere, it was going to be just that. I had always been under the impression that there was this unspoken code of ethics adults just knew and abided by, at all times. Wrong! OMG sooo wrong!

I work in a talent agency. Most of my crazy stories can be summed up to "ah, it's just the nature of the biz!" While others, most cases, can leave me scratching my head and wondering how certain people are able to keep themselves alive. Because damn, they are stupid!

Transitioning into adulthood is a hard & scary process. It's something we all go through, but while you're in it, it can take a lot out of you.

So, I'm gonna lay it out. All in writing, every week. Thanks for sharing these experiences with me. It's nice to remember there are other people out there, going thru the same thing as me. It helps me get thru it, so I hope my words can help someone else thru it.

Much love!  

Phuck Yo Standards,

♡ alliehustle